"Hey can u check if that milk went bad?"
*milk has leather jacket on smoking a cigarette*
"It’s bad alright"
Cards Against Humanity is where you learn which of your friends are basic and which ones are sociopaths there is no in between
*changes my about so your dad knows im 18 now*
i wanna play twister with someone really hot
oops i fell & touched your whole body
I think I’m going to write a book called “‘Four Hours Is Definitely Enough Sleep’ And Other Lies I Tell Myself”
I’M SO MAD
MY MOM JUST SAT ME DOWN LIKE “I found a picture of you on the internet of you in class” AND SHE’S ALL SERIOUS AND SO I’M LIKE WELL SHOW ME THE FUCKING PICTURE OH MY GOD THIS IS AN INVASION OF MY PRIVACY I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS
AND SHE PULLS UP THIS
OKAY WHO LET THIS GET 200+ NOTES