dominospizzadelivery:

"Hey can u check if that milk went bad?"

*opens fridge*

*milk has leather jacket on smoking a cigarette*

"It’s bad alright"

749

rachelovesklaine:

Cards Against Humanity is where you learn which of your friends are basic and which ones are sociopaths there is no in between

canadumb:

*changes my about so your dad knows im 18 now*

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in us."
a quote from Shakespeare that needed to be in the tfios movie for the title to make any sense at all (via droqo)
localteenruinseverything:

Are you fucking kidding me

-annoying:

i wanna play twister with someone really hot

oops i fell & touched your whole body

"…and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, ‘That was fine’. And your life is a long line of fine."
Gillian Flynn (via uglypnis)

suzysils:

I think I’m going to write a book called “‘Four Hours Is Definitely Enough Sleep’ And Other Lies I Tell Myself”

zeloserwilder:

zeloserwilder:

I’M SO MAD

MY MOM JUST SAT ME DOWN LIKE “I found a picture of you on the internet of you in class” AND SHE’S ALL SERIOUS AND SO I’M LIKE WELL SHOW ME THE FUCKING PICTURE OH MY GOD THIS IS AN INVASION OF MY PRIVACY I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS

AND SHE PULLS UP THIS

image

OKAY WHO LET THIS GET 200+ NOTES

poryqon:

poryqon:

write my tombstone in emojis

image

damn it

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